February 14

Today is Valentine's Day. For the past several days, people have been posting the following as their Facebook status, along with a change in their profile photo:

To celebrate Valentines Day, change your profile picture to you and your spouse/significant other. Re-post, and make sure to tell how long you've been together!

Sometimes I wonder if social media connections can result in people feeling even more alone. When you are lonely and believe you are unlovable, days like Valentine's Day can enhance those feelings and beliefs even more. I know. I was there, for many years. It took me a long time to learn how to love myself so that love between others was no longer threatening.

On this Valentine's Day, I am solo but not lonely and alone. I do have someone I love dearly, and who loves me in return. To the best of my ability, I try to make sure he always knows it. Living 2000 miles apart means that we cannot take for granted that the other person knows what we think and how we feel.

Still, I have friends who wish to be in a relationship, but for whatever reason, life hasn't worked out that way for them. So instead of following the Facebook crowd and posting that status, I left my photo as it was (shown below) and posted the following status:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Jalal ad-Din Rumi

I hope everyone takes the time to love themselves just a bit more today. You may not be perfect, but that's probably what I like best about you.

The quote by Rumi has been a favorite of mine for years, in large part because it was what I have been trying to do for myself and I still need to work on it. I don't mean to imply that I think my friends need fixing. I just wanted my friends, regardless of their relationship status, to know that I was thinking of them and love them just for who they are and I hope they love themselves as well. I hope I succeeded in that.

I am standing in front of the Conservatory of Flowers, in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco.