thumbs

Thumbs and car doors do not mix.

Now, as a well-educated woman in her mid 30's, you would think I would already know this. Indeed, I thought I did.

Alas, here is what I did to myself this morning, when I closed my locked car door on my thumb. WARNING: I am only linking that photo rather than posting it directly, because frankly it's gross. I was out of town on business for the day.

Yes. It hurt. I even got a bit light-headed about 30 min later, probably my body coming down from the adrenaline.

It oozed blood all day, so after consulting my mom and brother-in-law (both nurses), I checked my HR website when I got home for urgent care facilities on my insurance plan and headed to the nearest one. I actually got in and out fairly quickly, x-rays and all.

The verdict? I fractured the tip of my thumb. I can't decide if I am surprised or not. I knew it was a possibility, but I expected a fracture to hurt more. My mom and BIL predicted that the doc would actually remove the nail, but he left it on. He said that it is actually protecting the laceration on the nailbed that is causing the bleeding and since the nail is cracked, it is allowing the blood to seep out instead of building up underneath and causing a hematoma that would move the entire nail out of position. I'm glad he did not remove the nail. The thought of that totally skeeves me out.

He did say that I will have a slightly deformed nail on that thumb from now on. Eh. I don't have pretty nails anyway, never did, so I'm not too worried about it.

I got to see my x-rays, and how I basically broke the very tip of the bone clean off. This is only my 2nd ever broken bone, the other being a toe when I was 7. M*A*S*H was on TV at the time, and I loved that show. I begged my mom and the doc to let me see my broken toe on the x-rays and they wouldn't let me. I was so mad, LOL!

So, I'm on antibiotics to prevent infection. I'll start them tonight at 11ish as I have to take them every 8 hrs. An 11p-7a-3p schedule works best for me for that. I also have some prescription pain killer, but I don't really need it right now. I filled the Rx just in case (cost me about $3 anyway) but I'm hoping I won't need it at all.

Here is my thumb with the splint (and a Snoopy bandage):

ducklings

The cutest little fuzzballs are now swimming in Mirror Lake. I saw 3 or 4 today as I ran past, each no bigger than the palm of my hand.

surprise rainbow

I saw this lovely rainbow while driving home after my post-work run. I did not notice any rain in the area, so it took me by complete suprise. A quick check of the weather radar after arriving home showed one tiny rain shower that could have caused this. How lucky I was to be in the right place at the right time to see it. :-)

Earth Day

Tomorrow (April 22) is Earth Day.

This past weekend, my friend Deb was visiting. She makes her living as a naturalist, previously working in outdoor education. So when the question "what are we doing on Sunday?" came up, we decided to look for something to honor Earth Day a little early. The weather was going to be nice, and we wanted to be outdoors.

A Google search for Earth Day events in my area did not yield anything much. Then I had the idea to see what sort of programs my local metro park district was having. Bingo! One of the local parks was having a "Garlic Mustard Pull".

Garlic mustard is an invasive species. It crowds out the native wildflowers, and so the naturalist assigned to that park organized a group activity where volunteers could come and help pull out the plants by hand. This leaves room for the native species to return. There was a group of about 20 people, including one Boy Scout troop and one Girl Scout troop.

After spending about 90 minutes pulling the plants, the naturalist said we were done, so Deb and I continued on the trail and hiked for a total of 1.5 miles.

Here is Deb pulling some of the garlic mustard:

Here are some of the wildflowers we saw:

The trail followed along a creek. I sat at this spot for a little while to listed to the water moving over the rocks. It was very peaceful, but I couldn't stay too long. The ground was damp and my butt got wet.

Later, we saw this little guy and one of his friends. Just your garden variety garter snakes. I used to be terrified of snakes, but now for the most part they don't bother me. We didn't mess with these snakes at all, just watched them, but I'd have held him if we'd picked him up.

I am not a die-hard environmentalist or even a nature girl like Deb. But I do like being outdoors. I grew up camping, and I run in some of the other metroparks on a semi-regular basis. I am considering signing up as a parks volunteer, to help with events and programs like this. I have time to give, and this will get me outside and away from the computer. ;-)

Sapere aude

When I was growing up, my dad had hanging on the wall a plaque that supposedly represented the coat of arms for our family name (I have my doubts). Along with the coat of arms was an description of the symbols on the coat of arms. This description also stated that the family motto was Sapere aude.

Dare to be wise.

Powerful words, aren't they?

The word dare implies that you have to step up and do something that is not usual. It takes courage and determination in the face of possible failure.

I don't like to fail. I have really high expectations of myself, and it really bothers me when I don't meet them. In those moments, I have to face the fact that I am human and make mistakes and I have a hard time forgiving myself for that. As a consequence, I sometimes choose to not attempt a given task at all rather than risk failure.

Wise, and its companion word wisdom, is also a difficult word. I am a reasonably intelligent woman, and in fact for a long time I believed that my intelligence was the only part of me that had any worth. Intelligence is not wisdom, however. Wisdom, to use a part of the definition from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, means "ability to discern inner qualities and relationships". Synonym: insight.

I like how the phrase challgenges me to take on the difficult task of seeing past the surface of things, to get to what is real. Real about myself, real about my relationships, real about what I want out of life.

I think I'm making a little progress...

6954

April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month.




These pinwheels were placed on campus. They looked so beautiful, twirling in the sunshine.




Child abuse and neglect are underreported. By how much is unclear. I am certain that there were probably thousands more incidents in my county alone. Think of how many incidents must happen to just one child before someone actually calls Children's Services. If anyone ever does.


What is the definition?

Physical abuse
Sexual abuse
Emotional abuse
Neglect




We as a community need to care for our children. Be alert for signs of child abuse (physical, sexual, emotional) and neglect in the children that you know. If you suspect it, make a report to your local child protection agency.


If a child discloses to you that they are being abused, believe them. You may be the only person they ever tell. I know several people who were abused in one form or another as children. Some told and were not believed. Some never told at all, until they were adults and shared it with me as a trusted friend.


I used to be a social worker, and was employed by an agency that provided foster homes for Franklin County. I got to see the effects of abuse and neglect all the time. I left that job 8 years ago. I still think about the children with whom I worked, and wonder what happened to them.


I think some people shy away from making reports, in case they turn out not to be true. They hear about false reports and the stress and strain it puts on the children. Child abuse investigations are not fun, to be sure. But if the person making the report is doing so with good intentions (i.e. not deliberately false-reporting as a means of retaliation against someone), then they should not feel guilty if it turns out not to be true. Think of it this way: you are leaving it to the experts to decide.


And you might just be saving a child's life and future.

Chimes

If you have never heard "Carmen Ohio" played on the Orton Hall chimes, you are really missing something very beautiful.

being remembered

I was out for my run today, and my route took me through the university medical center. I took a slightly different turn through that area than I normally do, and saw something I had never seen before.








It is a concrete wall set with hand painted ceramic tiles that honor various women. Some are in remembrance of loved ones who have passed. Mothers. Sisters. Grandmothers. Aunts. Wives.














This one in particular caught my eye. I remembered Stephanie Hummer. I never met her, but during the spring of my junior year at Ohio State, she was raped and murdered. She was a freshman at OSU that year. The murder happened in 1994, but it wasn't until 2 years ago that a suspect was arrested. He later accepted a plea deal for 25-life. Had he gone to trial, it would have been on capital murder charges.

The interesting thing about this tile, is that it appears that this wall was created around 1999-2000, so this tile was up while her family and friends were still wondering what happened, and fearing that they would never know.





These next two also caught my eye, as they were clearly created by loving husbands. Seeing these two made me feel a little melancholy. I have never had anyone love me like this, and there are days when I believe I never will.








As I continued my run, I started thinking.

What will people say about me when I am gone?

I have no intention of dying before I'm 90, mind you, but it did make me think about my relationships with friends and family. Something I have realized about myself in recent months is that I'm friendly with a lot of people, but I tend to keep others at an emotional arms-length away. I do not allow a whole lot of people to get close to me.

I'm still puzzling out the reasons why. I think mostly it is a protective measure for 2 very different reasons. One is that I have had to deal with a lot of rejection in my life, particularly from people that I thought were friends. So on one level, keeping my relationships at a more superficial level keeps that inevitable rejection from hurting too much. I think this is partly where my trouble with romantic relationships lies.

The other reason is because I am acutely sensitive to others' emotions. If someone else is hurting, I hurt too. It goes beyond the normal empathy. It's almost like I'm an emotional sponge. So keeping people at a bit of a distance was a protective measure to allow me to function. I left the field of social work because I could not keep enough of that distance, and it was affecting my mental and physical health.

I would hope that people will say that I was fun, that I made a difference in their lives in some way, that I was a caring and understanding person. So, if that's what I hope people will say, I guess it is upon me to ensure that I live my life that way.

so how did the race go?

It always takes me a day or so to write up my race reports, especially for half-marathons. I finally posted one here.

Basically, while not a PR, I still did better than I expected. I'm very satisfied with that race.

another sign of spring

These are just outside the building where my office is located. Sadly, I have a basement office and cannot see them from indoors.

springtime on a college campus

After 5 years of working here at my university, I know that each academic quarter has a unique character to it. I enjoy the diversity of experience, but I think I like spring the best. The weather is nice, students are in good moods, and everyone seems to have found their rhythm.

I am sitting here enjoying the beautiful weather and watching students play on the Oval, a big grassy area in the central part of campus. In my line of sight, I can see a group of 4 students practicing their juggling skills, possibly in preparation for the annual medieval and renaissance festival in a few weeks. I count at least 4 groups throwing frisbees, 4 more groups with footballs, 2 or 3 with baseballs. There are also sunbathing students, though it really is a bit chilly still for that activity. I see many cyclists, walkers, and runners as well.

Amazingly, some students are even studying. ;-) One young woman near me is spread out on a blanket, listening to an iPod, and it looks like she is drawing. Just a few moments ago, a student approached me to ask if she could take photographs of my hands for a social documentary photography class. Of course, I said yes, and she took 4 shots of my hands (2 each of palms facing up and down).

Earlier today, the Oval preacher was out and about after spending his winter elsewhere. He evangelizes in a loud voice to the students walking past. His style tends to be verbally aggressive, and it is interesting to see his wife sitting demurely on the side as he does his thing. Most of the time, when I see students interact with him, it is to mock him or confront him. I do neither, but neither do I stick around to listen to his message. I don't get him and I do not ascribe to his version of the Christian message.

With the good weather, we have a higher than average percentage of students who fail to show up for advising appointments. I keep jokingly advocating to start a new program called Oval Advising, where we go to the students and set up shop out here on the Oval. With the good wireless coverage here at the university, it is possible. I'm not sure that the students would actually be more likely to come talk to us, but us advisors want to be outside too. :-)

bad dress rehearsal...

Back when I was in band and did a bit of community theatre, it seemed to be a truism that a bad dress rehearsal meant that you'd have a great opening night.

I wonder if the same holds true for races?

I have a half-marathon on Sunday. My last run of longer than 3 miles was 2.5 weeks ago. The roadtrip played havoc with my training, though if I wasn't stuck with treadmills, I might have tried a little harder to get in at least one longer run. I really hate the treadmill.

So this week, now that I can run outside again, I've been trying to keep it a bit easy leading up to the race, but get my body used to running again. A little under 3 miles on Monday, a little over yesterday. Today was my last run before the race, unless I shake my legs loose for 1-2 miles on Saturday afternoon. I was hoping to run 4-5 miles, my training schedule actually called for 6.

I couldn't do it. I made it to almost 3 miles and quit. I was just flat exhausted, I could not even finish running back to the parking garage where my car was.

I am hoping that it has more to do with my very busy work week this week since I run after work, and not the relative lack of running in the past few weeks. If it is the former, I should be OK on Sunday as I'll be able to get some rest leading up to the race. If the latter, well, I just hope that this race won't be my first DNF.

I am not expecting a PR at all but I'm OK with that. I am looking forward to seeing Nettie again, and meeting Myron and Tim. And most of all, cheering on Mandy as she runs her first HM ever.