and the right for all Americans to be legally married to whomever they want, regardless of sexual orientation.
If you believe the same, sign this petition.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
weird day
Woke up around 4 a.m. thanks to drinking extra water last night before bed. After taking care of business and trying to get back to sleep, I realize that the "fire sirens" that I'm hearing don't sound like fire sirens at all. They were kinda faint but steady. My groggy mind realizes that I'm hearing tornado sirens. Turned on the TV. Yep. Not for my county but 2 neighboring counties, both of which are 3-5 miles away from me. I was awake for an hour to be sure that things didn't get too hairy. I live on a top floor (2nd floor) apartment, and on the W-NW corner of the building. Fortunately, things quieted down and I got back to sleep an hour later.
Got up 2 hours later to go for my group run. This was my 1st run since my half-marathon last Sunday. My legs are still recovering, I discovered. I managed to run about 3.5 miles, maybe a little less, and walked the final .25 miles. It was a slow run, and toward the end my knee hurt. And, thanks to the weather last night, it was muggy as hell. Humidity = sucky-ass runs in my experience. Good thing I already planned to take it slow and didn't even bother to take my watch with me. My running route took me within a mile or so of the Memorial Golf Tournament, so I amused myself by guessing which of the people in the passing cars were going to be spectators.
This afternoon, as I was trying to nap, I got a knock at the door. I couldn't really pretend I wasn't here because my window was open and I was lying on the couch. Some woman I never saw before was there, asking how close the nearest store was, because she needed a sandwich and some cigarettes. She told me a confusing story of who she is, but apparently she is the ex-wife of my downstairs neighbor who was at work. She was staying with him she did not have a phone or car with her. I let her use my phone to call him so he could bring her some food and smokes because there are no sidewalks around here and her only pair of shoes were spike heels.
About an hour later, she knocks on my door again, wanting to make a quick call to her BF in Florida. I let her, but stood there while she did it, as I didn't want the phone out of my sight (it was my cell). This woman has serious issues, I was quickly learning. Her ex was due home at 5, thank goodness. He can deal with her. It sounded like she was going to have him drive her somewhere else this evening and I hope he does.
I left for the rest of the afternoon, heading out to Easton (a shopping area in town). I wandered around, nearly buying a CD until I realized I'd left my wallet in my gym bag at home. I had some thoughts while there, but those will be for a different post.
Got up 2 hours later to go for my group run. This was my 1st run since my half-marathon last Sunday. My legs are still recovering, I discovered. I managed to run about 3.5 miles, maybe a little less, and walked the final .25 miles. It was a slow run, and toward the end my knee hurt. And, thanks to the weather last night, it was muggy as hell. Humidity = sucky-ass runs in my experience. Good thing I already planned to take it slow and didn't even bother to take my watch with me. My running route took me within a mile or so of the Memorial Golf Tournament, so I amused myself by guessing which of the people in the passing cars were going to be spectators.
This afternoon, as I was trying to nap, I got a knock at the door. I couldn't really pretend I wasn't here because my window was open and I was lying on the couch. Some woman I never saw before was there, asking how close the nearest store was, because she needed a sandwich and some cigarettes. She told me a confusing story of who she is, but apparently she is the ex-wife of my downstairs neighbor who was at work. She was staying with him she did not have a phone or car with her. I let her use my phone to call him so he could bring her some food and smokes because there are no sidewalks around here and her only pair of shoes were spike heels.
About an hour later, she knocks on my door again, wanting to make a quick call to her BF in Florida. I let her, but stood there while she did it, as I didn't want the phone out of my sight (it was my cell). This woman has serious issues, I was quickly learning. Her ex was due home at 5, thank goodness. He can deal with her. It sounded like she was going to have him drive her somewhere else this evening and I hope he does.
I left for the rest of the afternoon, heading out to Easton (a shopping area in town). I wandered around, nearly buying a CD until I realized I'd left my wallet in my gym bag at home. I had some thoughts while there, but those will be for a different post.
Friday, May 30, 2008
restless
This is the 3rd night in a row that I've been home by or before 6 p.m. Other than Fridays, that's actually pretty unusual for me for a weeknight. Either I'm running or volunteering or something, so I don't usually get home before 7 or 8 or sometimes later.
I don't know what to do with myself after 3 days of being home so early. I have the Indians baseball game on the TV. I've read some magazines, browsed some catalogs that have stacked up, played some games on the computer, viewed my favorite message board.
It's a Friday night, I should be doing something. I can't think of what, however, so I feel restless.
ugh.
I don't know what to do with myself after 3 days of being home so early. I have the Indians baseball game on the TV. I've read some magazines, browsed some catalogs that have stacked up, played some games on the computer, viewed my favorite message board.
It's a Friday night, I should be doing something. I can't think of what, however, so I feel restless.
ugh.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
dog visit
Tonight at the children's hospital, we had a therapy dog come to visit. Marlo is a beautiful bassett hound and this was her debut as a therapy dog. Her Mommie (as M. calls herself) used to have 2 other therapy dogs who retired 2 years ago, Shy Girl (a retired racing greyhound) and Abby (a German Shepherd mix). Sadly, both Shy Girl and Abby have since died. I remember them both.
Marlo did a good job for her first time. She has just the right personality to be a therapy dog, calm around strangers, doesn't lick or jump up on the children, and totally focused on them. She ignored most of the adults except her Mommie, which is what she is supposed to do.
The kids just loved her. For children who are in the hospital for extended periods of time, they often miss their pets they left at home, and a visit by a therapy dog really can help them feel better.
Marlo made this volunteer feel better too. :-)
Marlo did a good job for her first time. She has just the right personality to be a therapy dog, calm around strangers, doesn't lick or jump up on the children, and totally focused on them. She ignored most of the adults except her Mommie, which is what she is supposed to do.
The kids just loved her. For children who are in the hospital for extended periods of time, they often miss their pets they left at home, and a visit by a therapy dog really can help them feel better.
Marlo made this volunteer feel better too. :-)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.- Francois Mocuriac
I'd been thinking about Ken anyway when I read that quote above a little while ago. Today is the 3rd anniversary of the day he died at the hands of another person.
Ken liked to think of himself as an ambassador. I wish I could remember his exact phrase (ambassador of happiness?), but basically, he saw the best in everyone around them, and tried to get them to see it as well. I have a couple old letters from him, and reread them a little while ago. I wish I still had some of his old e-mails as well. He did everything in his power to get me to believe in myself. I still struggle with that, but I always remember that he believed in me because he told me so, repeatedly. Maybe one of these days, I'll believe him for good.
In Nov 2003, I finally decided that I was at least worth the effort it took to take care of myself, and to try to lose weight to become healthier. I found the courage to try in part because of the encouragement he would always give me, although he never told me to lose weight. On the contrary, he did his best to convince me that I was beautiful and worthy of love no matter what I looked like.
My life took a huge turn in more ways than I can count because of that decision. I have many friends that I'd never have otherwise met. If you know me through DWLZ or running, in an indirect way it is because of him.
That is Ken's forever mark on my life.
I'd been thinking about Ken anyway when I read that quote above a little while ago. Today is the 3rd anniversary of the day he died at the hands of another person.
Ken liked to think of himself as an ambassador. I wish I could remember his exact phrase (ambassador of happiness?), but basically, he saw the best in everyone around them, and tried to get them to see it as well. I have a couple old letters from him, and reread them a little while ago. I wish I still had some of his old e-mails as well. He did everything in his power to get me to believe in myself. I still struggle with that, but I always remember that he believed in me because he told me so, repeatedly. Maybe one of these days, I'll believe him for good.
In Nov 2003, I finally decided that I was at least worth the effort it took to take care of myself, and to try to lose weight to become healthier. I found the courage to try in part because of the encouragement he would always give me, although he never told me to lose weight. On the contrary, he did his best to convince me that I was beautiful and worthy of love no matter what I looked like.
My life took a huge turn in more ways than I can count because of that decision. I have many friends that I'd never have otherwise met. If you know me through DWLZ or running, in an indirect way it is because of him.
That is Ken's forever mark on my life.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
SWF
It just occurred to me that I have not been on a date in a year. Much longer since I last kissed a guy.
I suppose I could throw myself a pity party for the anniversary, but that feels like too much work. ;-) Besides, all I need to do is remember that there were good reasons why I stopped dating those last 2 guys. No spark at all with one, I was bored with him by date #3. The other was a life-of-the-party type, but I am convinced he was a functional alcoholic. Uh, no thanks.
It's kind of challenging to meet guys though, particularly if (like me) you aren't into either the bar scene or the internet personals scene. Still, I figure that maybe I'll meet someone through the running group or my job or my other things I do. It's hard to muster up enthusiasm for dating as an end goal, but I have enthusiasm to spare for the other stuff. I'd much rather meet someone through a shared activity, and then if things go the dating direction, great! If not, hey, I've met a potential new friend.
I suppose I could throw myself a pity party for the anniversary, but that feels like too much work. ;-) Besides, all I need to do is remember that there were good reasons why I stopped dating those last 2 guys. No spark at all with one, I was bored with him by date #3. The other was a life-of-the-party type, but I am convinced he was a functional alcoholic. Uh, no thanks.
It's kind of challenging to meet guys though, particularly if (like me) you aren't into either the bar scene or the internet personals scene. Still, I figure that maybe I'll meet someone through the running group or my job or my other things I do. It's hard to muster up enthusiasm for dating as an end goal, but I have enthusiasm to spare for the other stuff. I'd much rather meet someone through a shared activity, and then if things go the dating direction, great! If not, hey, I've met a potential new friend.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
almost summer?
This afternoon, I was off work early and thus had the time for a long run on a weekday. I'm running a 10K race on Saturday, so it was nice to switch up and get 8.25 (ish) miles today.
I ran through a local metropark.
It smelled like summer!
Anyone who grew up in or near the country will know what I mean. It was that warm, grassy, flowery smell that you don't usually have until closer to July in Ohio, and only have outside of city limits.
Spring smells different than summer. This was definitely summer.
I ran through a local metropark.
It smelled like summer!
Anyone who grew up in or near the country will know what I mean. It was that warm, grassy, flowery smell that you don't usually have until closer to July in Ohio, and only have outside of city limits.
Spring smells different than summer. This was definitely summer.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Yes, it IS all about me
Here is how I know that I care way too much about what others think of me.
I actually was worried that people would read my Friday post and think "God, is she going on about that again?"
That = lack of confidence, men, etc. All stuff I know I have written about more than once.
Of course I know I was being stupid and I got over it. A blog is inherently an enterprise in self-absorption anyway. Bloggers are either writing about themselves, or about how they view the world. Blog readers know this. In fact, reading blogs is sort of voyeuristic, since they often give you a glimpse of the bloggers private thoughts that you might not otherwise see.
So, welcome to my life. :-)
I actually was worried that people would read my Friday post and think "God, is she going on about that again?"
That = lack of confidence, men, etc. All stuff I know I have written about more than once.
Of course I know I was being stupid and I got over it. A blog is inherently an enterprise in self-absorption anyway. Bloggers are either writing about themselves, or about how they view the world. Blog readers know this. In fact, reading blogs is sort of voyeuristic, since they often give you a glimpse of the bloggers private thoughts that you might not otherwise see.
So, welcome to my life. :-)
Friday, May 2, 2008
depressing thought of the day
I think I have mentioned that I like reading essay collections these days. This is my current one in progress. The essays are all written by women 10-20 years older than me, but I see myself in some of their stories.
So I was reading it this evening and one of the essayists wrote the following, as she was describing a series of not-quite relationships with younger men:
"But while our brain love was mutual, our physical chemistry was not. When he had a fling with a mutual friend, it was a reminder to me that most guys in their twenties (and maybe thirties and forties and fifties and sixties) -- no matter how open-minded and sincere and adoring -- when given a choice between a very smart, average-looking woman and a hot woman of average intelligence will be tugged by their dicks toward the latter just about every time."
(Spike Gillespie, "Nothing Like Harold and Maude")
As a very smart, average-looking woman who has trouble meeting men, that particular paragraph hit me like a kick in the stomach.
After my initial reaction, I was able to think of couples I know for whom this is not the case. And even Spike went on to say that she was probably bitter about how that friendship ended.
But I have to admit that there is part of me that believes what she said. Therein lies my real problem, i.e. my self-confidence. I'm smart enough to know that. I just haven't figured out what to do about it so that I no longer lack that self-confidence.
So I was reading it this evening and one of the essayists wrote the following, as she was describing a series of not-quite relationships with younger men:
"But while our brain love was mutual, our physical chemistry was not. When he had a fling with a mutual friend, it was a reminder to me that most guys in their twenties (and maybe thirties and forties and fifties and sixties) -- no matter how open-minded and sincere and adoring -- when given a choice between a very smart, average-looking woman and a hot woman of average intelligence will be tugged by their dicks toward the latter just about every time."
(Spike Gillespie, "Nothing Like Harold and Maude")
As a very smart, average-looking woman who has trouble meeting men, that particular paragraph hit me like a kick in the stomach.
After my initial reaction, I was able to think of couples I know for whom this is not the case. And even Spike went on to say that she was probably bitter about how that friendship ended.
But I have to admit that there is part of me that believes what she said. Therein lies my real problem, i.e. my self-confidence. I'm smart enough to know that. I just haven't figured out what to do about it so that I no longer lack that self-confidence.
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